Category Archives: Fill Up Your Cup

Sometimes things happen in life that are crappy and annoying. When they happen to you, you can get under the covers and cry, or harden up and deal with it. Attitude adjustments all around.

5 Posts to Read If You’re Feeling Blue

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Sometimes I get a little down in the dumps. Who doesn’t from time to time, am I right? Here are 5 brilliant links that are sure to brighten your day:

  1. So you’re a little down – when to wallow and how to do it.
  2. Feeling bad because you’re totally roadblocked in moving towards what you want? Stop psyching yourself out, and do it.
  3. Just a reminder! You’re already awesome because you’ve traveled places, and here’s why.
  4. If you’re still not feeling awesome, here’s 17 things you can do RIGHT NOW that will make sure you’re feeling proud of yourself a year from now
  5. Or if 17 steps seem insurmountably hard, try 4 easy things to get outta that rut

Because sometimes it’s nice to get a gentle nudge from the internet that maybe things aren’t so bad after all, or at least how to pick up and keep on trucking if it feels like they really really are.

Make a Choice, Then Be Satisfied with It

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Some choices are easy, and not wrought with self-doubt, pro’s and con’s lists, and endless waffling back and forth. I’m thinking of the decisions in life like, “Do I marry Ryan Gosling or Leonardo DiCaprio?” (a win-win obviously), or “Do I avoid the middle airplane seat?” (you know that’s a guaranteed lose).  Some situations are easy because both options are wonderful, or there is a clear cut definition where one is much much worse. It’s those decisions where both are OK, or there are too many variations on the outcome that leave most of us spinning. Think about how difficult it can be to pick out an outfit when you are confronted with a hundred tops, lots of bottoms, and nearly infinite combinations of the two. But new research published in the Journal of Consumer Research (and blogged about by Women’s Health The Scoop) found that even when making the decision may be hard, there are simple tricks people can use to feel satisfied with the choice they have made.

The short answer is to give the decision a physical act of closure. If you’re between two items on the menu, shut if after you have picked. If you selected a dress from your clset, close the door. If you’ve decided you don’t need to eat any more chips, zip up the bag and put it in the cabinet. After struggling with an email, and sending it-close your laptop. Scientists think that this triggers your mind to believe that the item is final, checked off of your to-do list, and now it’s time to move on. Then it shifts its focus to the item you picked, rather than all of the other options you’ve recently given up by making that choice. (Which sounds a lot like how your mind creates synthetic happiness to me!)

How do you stick with your decisions, after they’re made?

Shake It (that negative thought) Out

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Your mother always told you if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Now, new research from Ohio State University (that I read in Self Magazine’s April Issue) indicates that you should stop thinking those not-so-nice things while you’re at it.

Previous studies have found that writing down negative thoughts and throwing them out can clear the undesirable things from your brain. But this one discovered that simply shaking your head no when you catch a negative thought passing through can squash the downbeat mood before it has a chance to take hold. Put on Florence and the Machine’s, “Shake it Out,” and just say no to negativity with a nod of your head.

10 Minute Tip to Improve Your Life

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pillowsWhile changing my pillow cases to drop off my laundry the other day, I was horrified to realize that it had been a very long time since I purchased some new filler pillows. I tend to have a lot of pillows (to the tune of 8) on my bed. Three I actually sleep on, while the rest are props for better pillow positioning. For the props, or the filler pillows, I buy cheap ones. I repaired straight to TJ Maxx, and picked up a couple packs of 2 for $12 Laura Ashley pillows, and while this tip may take you a little more than 10 minutes if you’re indecisive once you hit the pillow aisle, friends – it’s amazing how happy a set of fresh pillows can make a gal.

But for my down pillows, those are more of an investment piece. I mean, how inviting does that bed above look?? And when you think about how much time you actually spend in bed, its really worth dropping some cash for comfort. My choice is Charter Club Vail 100% Down Pillows. I could not recommend the medium firmness queen highly enough.  While they go for just over $150 a pop, they often go on sale a Macy’s, and with a couple coupons you can bring them down to a much more reasonable price.

Luxurious? Yes. Worth it? 1000X over. It is like laying your head on a fluffy cloud.

Why are we happy? Why aren’t we happy?

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Happiness – it’s what everyone seems to constantly be looking for in life- whether its found in the perfect job, perfect husband, or perfect home. Yet, in this TED talk, Dan Gilbert investigates the possibility – no, certainty- that the human brain is actually wired to create our own happiness, even though most people aren’t aware of it. He proposes that this synthetic happiness is just as authentic as that we stumble upon when we get exactly the things we want, and that people can stop searching for it, and just make their own happy. Have a listen!

4 Ways to Deal When You Do Something Embarassing

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embarassment

I do embarrassing things all the time. Wiping out in the middle of a crosswalk? Been there (more times that I would like to admit)! Walking around with deodorant marks on my black top? Sure. Totally misunderstanding what someone is asking me? Of course! The range of snafus is wide and the list is long. But what I don’t do? Walk around feeling all ashamed and humiliated most of the time. Chalk it up to having a mother who wasn’t afraid of making a public scene every now and again, but eventually I just stopped really caring what other people thought, especially when I’ve done something clumsy or a little odd. Here are 4 things that might help you cope next time potential humiliation knocks at your door.

1. Laugh or Apologize

If you’ve done something embarrassing to yourself, laugh at it. People will feel a lot less pity and a lot more admiration for how you handled the situation when they can laugh (at what is really probably a pretty funny situation) without you getting mad at them. It diffuses the tension from the situation when they’re waiting to see how you’ll react. Laughing works best when you’ve done something silly like trip in front of a crowd or tuck your skirt into your pantyhose. If you’ve done something that embarrasses you because you embarrassed someone else, like really putting your foot in your mouth in a meeting, the best route is apologizing publicly and immediately to show people that at least you realize your blunder. Then try to take corrective steps, and at the very least, just remember never to make that same mistake again.
2. Put it in Perspective
While it might seem like a world-ending humiliation in your eyes, to most other people, it’s a minor blip in one day where they’re really more preoccupied with their stuff. It helps to remember that most people (high school girls excluded) care more about their own lives than yours. If you don’t remind them of the embarrassing incident, they will probably forget in the time it took you to forget what the person sitting across from you on the subway was wearing.

3. Move Along
If you pick up acting normally like nothing happened, other people will take it as a cue that they should go back to normal business as usual as well. Even if you’re still cringing internally about how you could ever do such an embarrassing thing, regaining your composure, and pretending like you’ve gotten over it is the best way to deal until you actually have.

4. Remember that it Won’t Matter in 5 Minutes, Hours, Days or Months
I’ve found that most times I feel really humiliated in the moment, I end up describing the whole event in great detail a few days later to my friends with lots of laughs in between. While you might have to force the laugh when it’s happening, after the initial embarrassment has passed there’s usually a funny story there. And if your friends want to joke about it before you’re ready, a simple, “Too soon,” should quiet them down until you’re ready to laugh about it down the road. And trust me, eventually you will be.

How do you cope when you’ve done something really embarrassing?

22 Ways to Choose to Be Happy

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While I know that sometimes it seems like the whole world (right down to the barista at Starbucks) is against you, I believe that no matter what your circumstances, the one thing everyone is in control of, is how they choose to look at the things surrounding them. Granted, you may not be able to eliminate bad hair days, breakups, or cavities at the dentist, but you can take charge of your own reactions and attitude, and sometimes a slight adjustment can make the difference between an unhappy grouch and a regular Pollyanna. I came across this post on 22 Things Happy People Do Differently that outlines one blogger’s take on how some people manage to look on the bright side a little more often. And I think she’s onto something. Here is her list of things really happy people do a more often than the rest of  us:

  1. Don’t hold grudges
  2. Treat everyone with kindness
  3. See problems as challenges
  4. Express gratitude for what they already have
  5. Dream big
  6. Don’t sweat the small stuff
  7. Speak well of others
  8. Never make excuses
  9. Get absorbed in the present
  10. Wake up at the same time every morning
  11. Avoid social comparison
  12. Choose friends wisely
  13. Never seek approval from others
  14. Take the time to listen
  15. Nurture social relationships
  16. Meditate
  17. Eat well
  18. Exercise
  19. Live minimally
  20. Tell the truth
  21. Establish self control
  22. Accept what cannot be changed.

Pop on over and take a look at the original post for more details, but it makes a lot of sense. Think about the happiest people you know. They take charge of their lives, keep problems in perspective and don’t let anyone else rain on their parade. I know I always feel a little better about life after I’ve had a good workout, gotten eight hours of sleep, paid someone a compliment, spent time with good friends, and eaten a healthy meal. On the list of things that don’t make me feel great? Comparing my successes to others, spending beyond my means, and basing my feelings on the opinions of others. Instead, what if we try to stay thankful, treat obstacles as challenges, try not to let those things beyond our control bother us too much?

2 Second Tip to Improve Your Life

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Yes, I know the 1-ply is cheaper, but all it will lead to is disappointment and regret. So, when you’re in the toilet paper aisle, being tempted to save a few dollars just step away from the Scott. Seriously, just do it. Spring for the Charmin, and improve your week, all for the cost of your morning coffee.