*Originally posted as In Which Everyone Realizes I’m Actually 50 or 80 as the case may be
Ever since I was a child, people have remarked about how I never really act my current age. My mother said I was born a little adult, and the librarian backed her up by calling to report that the fiction I chose was not age-appropriate. Growing up, my sister used to say I had the habits of a middle-aged man. Fast forward to now, when my friends regularly proclaim there must an old woman trapped in my young(ish) adult body. Then I read this post on Yes and Yes, and it got me thinking about what exactly I do to give everyone this impression. So I decided to make my own list, a condensed story of my life, where I tend toward a senior citizen. Here are some of things I love that are not age appropriate.
I like to eat them, and I like to make them, and not just at holidays like Thanksgiving. Hot melty bowls of veggies and meat usually covered in mayonnaise and cheese with a delicious crunchy topping? Sign me up.
They’re the only reason I ever take the AM New York from those pesky subway workers, or buy Star magazine. Actually, let’s just make that puzzles , in general. I love putting them together, especially if they are covered in glitter feature cute animals.
Scratch Off Lottery Tickets
Though I have to go into the sketchy bodegas that usually feature pet cats roaming around, and degenerate gamblers playing strings of numbers, every now and then, I need to satisfy my itch for a Cashword or Win for Life. Hey guys, if you don’t buy the ticket, you can’t ever win.
Clogs and Nightgowns
I own them and wear them, even though I’m pretty sure they are only made for the Swedes and people living in retirement homes.
I find it relaxing to make scarves and hats while watching TV. Maybe its my short attention span that requires me to do multiple things at once for entertainment. Or maybe I am just secretly an old woman on the inside.
You know those shows that only your parents watch during the summer? Like Royal Pains, and Suits, and that one your mother can’t stop talking about how handsome the lead guy is, White Collar? They’re my favorite shows too.
Bonnie Rait, James Taylor and Aretha Franklin
It’s not the classic music that is SO HIP to listen to, or scores you points with the hippies at music festivals. It will, however, let you bond with your boss. These guys feature heavily into my iPod playlists, and I may or may not own their Christmas albums.
I Speak in Proverbs
If you’re spent time with me, you’re probably so used to me using expressions like, “That’s handy!” or, “Under mackerel sky, they ground’s never dry” that you don’t even notice them anymore. At least that’s what I tell myself when I let a, “Go to town!” slip out in the workplace when a coworker asks to do something. Or when I find myself clucking my tongue and thinking, “Willful waste makes for woeful want” when I see someone throwing out food. My strange little expressions picked up over the years from my great-grandma, aunts and uncles, and country childhood go unnoticed to most, right? Right.
Punch and a Cheeseball are Book Club Refreshments
This one’s two-fold. I have a book club. When I used to host it at my apartment, a typical snack was a big bowl of punch (alcoholic of course), and a cheese ball or dip. Sound like something you’d see at Aunt Gertrude’s holiday party? Also for book club I have been known to suggest a Nicholas Sparks book, and secretly read a Norah Roberts novel in between selections here and there.
I don’t know why I like all of these older-lady things. Maybe it’s because of all the time I spend at my grandparent’s house growing up (Hi Gram!), or maybe I was destined to be age inappropriate from birth.
Anything I forgot to include friends? What do you like that’s not typical for your age?