The 4 Tendencies

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According to Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project, most people fall into one the four tendencies:

  • Upholder: Meets outer and inner expectations
  • Obliger: Meets outer expectations; resists inner expectations
  • Questioner: Resists outer expectations; meets inner expectations
  • Rebel: Resists outer and inner expectations

And knowing which one is you can help you better understand what motivates you, so you can change your habits for a happier life.

Your tendency captures the reasoning behind your actions, why you do or don’t make it to the gym even though you’ve resolved 20 times to go this year.

I found out that I’m a questioner – no big surprise there – “I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. If it doesn’t make sense, I won’t do it.”

Growing up, my nickname was curious George, and I wanted to do what I wanted to do. Questioners are known for only responding to an expectation if it makes logical sense to them, and asking a LOT of questions to determine that.

Curious what your tendency is? Take the quiz here.

Cube Dogs

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I’ll just start this post off by saying that the Japanese really know where it’s AT when it comes to cute things. They brought us Hello Kitty and Maru. And now, ever the innovators, they are broadening their cute horizons to include animals of the canine variety.

It is now a common style for dog lovers to shave their furry friends into perfectly symmetrical little cubes. And the result? Well, it’s predictable adorable.

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Check out more of the adorable new hairstyles here, and here.

A Hate Letter to NYC

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I have lived in NYC for almost 12 years now. In some estimations, that makes me a real, bonafide New Yorker – a title I have fought hard to earn. One thing everyone who lives here knows is that living here ain’t easy. And another that we can all agree on, is that one of the best things about being a member of this inner circle is that it has earned you the right to complain – about things that only other true New Yorker’s would understand.

For the most part, I love my city, and there’s no place else I’d rather be. But on some days, I hate it with a fiery passion. And in those moments, here are the things that drive me nuts the most.

  • The average traffic light is 3 minutes long. WHY is your fool self running out into the path of oncoming cars? No one needs to be to work on time that badly, and it’s just going to ruin my morning when I have to SEE you get hit by that bus you’re barely dodging.
  • When something goes wrong and you all want to group complain. Yes, the subway is taking forever and we’re wedged on this platform with sweat dripping down our butt cracks. Talking about it only makes it worse. Put in some headphones and put on a podcast. Try to find your zen. I know I do.
  • Subway performers in the morning. WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU PLAY ELECTRIC GUITAR BEFORE 9AM? There is no one that wants to hear that that early. I certainly don’t when I haven’t had my coffee yet. This is my time before work. Let me enjoy those last few minutes in peace.
  • Subway performers during evening rush. I enjoy subway performers (I swear). There are even a few (ok two) acts that I like so much that I always give them money and stop and watch. I have even listened to Too Many Zooz on spotify when I hadn’t seen them in a while. They’re so good! But why are you trying to break dance, or hobble through with your cane when I barely have room to wedge my body into the car. Nobody can even get their hands in their wallets to give you anything it’s so jam-packed. Stop trying to play that nonsense.
  • People who stop walking to swipe their metro cards. At this point, it’s probably becoming clear that I have a lot of subway-induced rage. Who doesn’t, amirite? It’s like those fools who come to a full stop in the EZ Pass lane. Don’t you see what you’re doing wrong?
  • When you’re waiting in a long line, and the person behind you asks dumb questions. Is that self service kiosk broken? NO, I just LIKE standing here wasting my time when I could be using it to ring up my dinner. Check yourself.
  • The fact that the MTA claims the subways run on a schedule. We all know that’s a joke.
  • Every time I go to an event thinking I had an original idea, and then they are hundreds of other people who are there.

What really pisses you off about this wonderful city?

Michelle Chang Jewelry

Michelle Chang elephant ring.

I came across her jewelry on a blog I love, and have been wanting some of her adorable animal rings, and necklaces ever since. Michelle Chang makes tiny elephants, the most adorable little ram earrings (perfect for a Fordham alum), and an octopus necklace that I would wear all the time. I’m a sucker for cute animals, and in jewelry? Well, that’s no exception.

Can’t Decide? Flip a Coin

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When I was 18 years old, deciding what college to go to was the biggest choice I’d ever had to make. For a girl who struggled with what outfit to wear on a daily basis, the immensity of the decision was paralyzing. This place would decide my future friends, future husband, future career, where I live. I was committing a whole 4 years of my life – a time period that doesn’t seem so long from 30 – but comprised a huge fraction of my teenage life.  It didn’t help that I was devastated to be leaving all of my best friends since elementary school behind. Why couldn’t we all go together again?

I didn’t get into my top choice, and was too offended by the waitlist suggestion of my second choice to even consider it. I had my pride! So, that narrowed the real contenders to three choices – ignoring all the safeties. The first decision was between city and country. I have been accepted to a college in the middle-of-nowhere Upstate New York. The beautiful campus, huge equestrian program, and promise of sorority parties pulled me. But after growing up in the country, the two NYC colleges beckoned with their bright lights, big city appeal.

I tortured my family and friends. I cried. I made lists, and still was no where closer to picking a school even though the deadlines loomed nearer. Then, after one particularly dramatic dinner with my dad, spent almost entirely agonizing over the decision, we got back to his house, and he pulled out a quarter.

“Well, you don’t seem any closer to deciding now than you were three weeks ago. So, let’s flip a coin. Whatever comes up, that’s where you’ll go.” I was pissed that he was simplifying my plight, but begrudgingly agreed. We said heads, I’d go to St. Lawrence, tails – Fordham. When the heads came up, I had a sinking feeling.

“So, are you excited or disappointed?” Dad asked. I had to confess, the coin toss was kind of a let down.

It turns out that my dad had never actually planned to decide based on a 50-50 chance. He just knew that regardless of what came up, I would feel a certain way. That would guide my choice. It was a clever trick to get around teenage indecision.

Now, in moments when I just.can’t.pick. I pull out a coin and see how the flip makes me feel. And, I’ve been living in NYC for almost 12 years now, and I couldn’t be happier with the choice I (finally) made.

The Cutest Bunny in All the Land

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Meet Wally the Bunny. He waltzed into my twitter feed (and my heart) this morning with this Gawker article, and has now taken his place among the internet animal celebrities I love most. My first two actions were to share the link, and follow him on Instagram. It may be my favorite feed yet.

(Seriously, why are you still reading? Go look at his feed!)

He now has a special place in my hear with Boo, Mr. Winkle (yes, he’s a real dog), and Saurkraut the Cat. I don’t know if it’s his adorable fluffy ears, his cute little nose wiggles, his leaping hops, or all three.

But do yourself a serious favor, and spend the next half hour or so googling him. You won’t be sorry.

Why I Love Taraji P. Henson

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Ever since Empire came out, Miss Taraji P. Henson has been enjoying a new level of fame. People LOVE Cookie and her sass with a seriousness that I can totally support. But I’ve been a fan of hers since long ago. Here’s why girlfriend caught my eye long before she starred in the best show on television.

  • She had pop-up roles in several of my favorite childhood shows : Sister, Sister, ER, Felicity, Saved by the Bell.
  • Ms. Henson is seriously gorgeous
  • Tyrese loves her. Isn’t that reason enough?
  • She’s 43, and doesn’t look a day over 25. I would love to know her secrets.
  • She throws shade like no other. Did you know she MADE UP some of Cookie’s best lines? I wouldn’t mess with her
  • I MAY have watched Something New every.single.time it played on HBO in college, and that’s when she really won my fandom
  • She advocates for animals and loves dogs
  • Taraji shines in Benjamin Button
  • And you can’t NOT love her in Think Like a Man and Think Like a Man, Too – even when she is giving that sweet man she’s dating the run around. She’s just trying to put her career first!

I, for one, am excited to see where this new level of fame takes her.